the beauty of the Word

As women we love to be presentable. Personally, I went through a phase where my appearance was not my number one priority. Not because I was in my modesty era or because I wanted to work on humility; instead, it was because I had low self esteem and since I did, my appearance matched the inner state of my heart. A lot of my time wasn’t spent in the mirror: most likely because I didn’t like what I saw. My confidence was low. Anything good that I would see in the mirror would leave my mind as I interacted with people. There was a hole in my heart that was searching for identity, and no beauty seen in a mirror could satisfy me. My hair seemed short and stringy, my face grew chunkier and seemingly uneven, and my eyes seemed to be surrounded with layers of grief that made them look less youthful and more broken. 

In search of rescuing, I found myself trying new things that I thought would bring me more certainty about myself. My free time consisted of hanging around with my high-school friends, smoking, partying, and drinking on the weekends. It was fun. Forgetting about the weight of high-school assignments having a deadline such as essays, powerpoints, speeches, or whatever I was responsible for completing my senior year. Even more, it was fun to do something that didn’t feel like such a huge responsibility. Work and school can feel like that. The alarm goes off, doing its job of alarming you that it is time to get up from what seemed like a short-lived rest and get back to reality. Smoking, drinking, partying, and even treating people harshly kept me feeling like something was still in my control. 

the strength of social media

I can say that once this started, the mirror saw plenty of me. There’s something about looking like what other people like to see that makes you feel so confident. You want to keep going back to the mirror again and again. For example, when you post a picture on Instagram after spending hours planning your outfit, you carefully choose a unique setting that will make your photos stand out. You strike the perfect poses so your skin glows and your outfit flatters your body. There’s something about this feeling. Picture this — your phone won’t stay dark for more than a minute because the “likes” keep pouring in. People are commenting things you already believe about yourself: These pictures are beautiful. You’re flawless. You’re worth desiring. You see, these comments bring reassurance that what you see in the mirror is right.

This feeling doesn’t last forever. At some point people stop replying, liking, and sharing your photo because there are other things that are catching their attention. In actuality, your photo was only the focus of somebody’s attention for about 30 seconds, and maybe even less than that. And so now that your time has run out on Instagram, and your TikTok video is off of everybody’s ‘for you’ page, your time to shine is over. And now you find yourself back at the mirror. Trying to reassure yourself again that you’re beautiful. You knew it a few days ago, but now you’re unsure. You’re lacking the support from all of your TikTok and Instagram followers and now you find yourself left alone, trying to muster up the belief that you’re beautiful in your own strength.—With your own thoughts about yourself.  And sometimes those thoughts aren’t as good as we would want them to be. As humans and as women, we struggle with having consistent emotions. Somedays we do feel beautiful, but other days we feel ugly. Some days we feel like we are doing good in our lives and then other days we don’t feel like our efforts are going anywhere. And so we go back and forth; finding ourselves back in the mirror. This time, looking at ourselves all dolled up, knowing that the world would approve of how we look. We do it again, we post. Crying for help, looking for someone to remind us again, this time we’re desperate. We need to know. We need somebody to tell us that we’re worth it, that we’re beautiful, and that we are seen. 

The pictures are still beautiful, and now it has been about a month since we posted. We look at the pictures as though they are in the far distance because the girl who is in those pictures; confident, flawless, and prized, doesn’t seem like the girl who exists in the present moment. Back in the mirror, you compare yourself to the one who is in those pictures. The one who is praised by others. You don’t see her. You feel worthless. Overwhelmed by emotions. Low self-esteem appears. Insecurity peaks her head. You leave the mirror. Wondering, who am I? You go back for reassurance to see once more if you can see what everybody else sees. But you don’t. You forget what you look like. And since nobody has said it, you forget that you’re beautiful, purposeful, and loved. 

a mirror that sees deeper

The Bible talks about this. 

James 1:22-25 NLT

“But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.”

When you read the Word of God, God’s intentions for us are to be changed by His Word: “don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says” (James 1:22 nlt). 

I’ve noticed that as I read my bible, I can see an image of myself in the pages. The stories are often relatable because they discuss real people who struggled with real sin and worry, and some of those people still wanted to know God in His fullness. They dealt with anxiety, lust, jealousy, shame, greed, and unforgiveness, amongst other things; just like we do. When we are able to read about these stories in the midst of our own issues, the Bible is able to paint that image and hopefully pierce our hearts. In Hebrews 4:12 it states that the Bible is “powerful and alive”, and “exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” 

The girl I used to be and oftentimes still fight to get away from, started looking in the Word of God as my mirror a few years ago. Completely drained from searching for my identity in the applause and standards of others; the place I found rest for my heart was in the mirror of Jesus. As I read the words that explained Jesus’s love for me, the world’s love didn’t seem to matter as much. Words like, “the peace of God which, surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phillippians 4:7 nlt), made me pull farther away from the un-peaceful lie I was looking at for so long, and give truth a chance.

there is a need for change

There are many different things that may keep you opening up your bible for encouragement or comfort. For me, I enjoy knowing that God understands me and is with me through everything. No matter what. Imagine spending time reading the Bible and knowing that you are valued by Christ, but then when you walk away from that moment, you forget everything that the Bible has said about you. You forget that it calls you loved by God, strengthened in your weaknesses by God, and fearfully and wonderfully made by God. What would’ve been the point in sitting at the Lord’s feet and learning what your Creator thinks about you, just to close the book and forget everything you learned? You would spiral all the way until you find yourself back at square one. Looking for peace in approval and not in the truth of God’s Word. But when you take the Word, believe it, and live in it… change will come. The constant need for approval will lose its power, and the cycle will finally break. The anxiety of chasing perfection will quiet down, making room for the peace of Jesus to take over. And where low self-esteem once lingered, confidence will rise — confidence in Jesus and in His beautiful craftsmanship.

become known in a new image

The Word of God is a mirror that we can look in to help us find our need for adjustments. We use a real mirror to show us what needs to be fixed, like a piece of hair sticking out of place or a piece of lettuce in between your teeth. The normal scenario is that one would fix the issue and move on, both confident and happy to know that the problem has been solved. When you read the Word of God it is meant to show your sin in real time. It reads the deepest secrets of your heart and reveals to you what icky, sinful things are in your heart so that you can identify what is keeping you from the peace and joy that God promises to His children and to the ones who follow His truth. Similar to when you go to the mirror, rarely would one look at themselves, find a problem, and not fix the thing they have seen. This is what Jesus does with us. Because He loves us so much more than we could ever love our own selves, He corrects the parts about us that aren’t like Him. He doesn’t show us the bad things to shame us, but instead encourages us to exchange our sinful ways for His good ways. We look at His image and we find so much truth about ourselves that leads to freedom. Believing what God says about our looks, personality, identity, and gifts causes the voices of anything other than His light begin to fade into a low mumble, until they are completely silenced. Because now when you see yourself you’re reminded of Jesus. And when you keep your mind on Jesus purpose, victory, and peace will inevitably follow. 

 I’m not one to say that this process is an easy one to comprehend. Everyday emotions meet me and thoughts can become overwhelming. And sometimes it seems that God’s Word is more like a task than a blessing. So this week, for you and I both, let’s try something. Let’s find one verse (a personal scripture that you will choose on your own) that takes the focus off of our own strength, and focuses on God’s. Slow down and give God a chance to show you why His mirror is one that will never shatter. 

Check out my verse of choice on our Instagram!